Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. 

* Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

"All I'm saying is that you're deluded, pathetic, and squirrels use your
 head to store chestnuts for the cold winter months in."

-- Pinback, oz#gothic

"I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking.
    He called me a quitter."        -- Steven Pearl

I put instant coffee into a microwave oven. I almost went backin time.

                                            - Steven Wright