A young lady from South Carolina 
               Placed fiddle strings 'cross her vagina. 
                    What, with proper sized cocks, 
                    Once was sex, became Bach's 
               Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor. 

There was a young lassie named Phyllis 
               Was deflowered one night in a Willys. 
                    Before they were through 
                    Her spine was askew, 
               And I very much fear that it still is. 

               A pathetic appellant at Reno 
               Was as chaste as the holy Bambino, 
                    For she'd married a slicker 
                    Who stuck to his liquor 
               And scorned her ripe maraschino

A lad from far-off Transvaal 
            Was lustful, but tactful withal. 
                He'd say, just for luck, 
                "Mam'selle, do you fuck?" 
            But he'd bow till he almost would crawl. 

            A sadistic young cook, Miss McDillet 
            Gets very upset when you fill it. 
                When she's done and hops off, 
                She lops your thing off, 
            And sautés it up in a skillet.