There was a young lady named Astor 
               Who never let any get past her. 
                    She finally got plenty 
                    By stopping twenty, 
               Which certainly ought to last her. 

Phil, a young plumber from Rhyl
was first to try out the male pill,
but to Lisa's suprise,
his spunk didn't rise,
and neither received any thrill.

Sent by Dan

To Italy went Sinclair Lewis 
               Documenting the life led by loose 
                    American drunks, 
                    But he unpacked his trunks 
               'Cause Florence slipped him a goose. 

I was desperate, I was weary
I prayed for holy guidance from above
I thought she came to lead me through the darkness
But then I felt a probing rubber glove...

Here I sit Same as ever
Dirty arse, got no paper
Boss is calling,
Can not linger
Stuff it, I'll use me finger

Sent by Sarah