A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.  
    
 A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound just like a song. 
    
Some farts do not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger awhile.   
    
 A fart can create
A most-curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, but deadly. 
    
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone
With strange looks on their faces.   
    
From wide-open prairies,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us 
Sooner or later. 
    
So be not afraid
Of the invisible gas,
For always remember,
That farts, too, shall pass.   
 

Sent by Mario

My Very First Time



                        The sky was dark
                        The moon was high
                        All alone just she and I
                        Her hair was soft
                        Her eyes were blue
                        I knew just what
                        She wanted to do
                        Her skin so soft
                        Her legs so fine
                        I ran my fingers
                        Down her spine
                        I didn't know how
                        But I tried my best
                        I started by placing
                        My hands on her breast
                        I remember my fear
                        My fast beating heart
                        But slowly she spread
                        Her legs apart
                        And when I did it
                        I felt no shame
                        All at once
                        The white stuff came
                        At last it's finished
                        It's all over now
                        My first time ever
                        At milking a cow.....

There was a young lady whose joys 
               Were achieved with incomparable poise. 
                    She could have an orgasm 
                    With never a spasm--- 
               She could fart without making a noise. 

A lady on climbing Mount Shasta
Complained as the mountain grew vaster,
That it wasn't the climb
Nor the dirt nor the grime
But the ice on her ass that harassed her. 

I love you, You love me,
Homosexuality,
People say that we're just friends,
But we are really Lesbians.