What does a graduate student with a science degree ask?  
"Why does it work?"

What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask?  
"How does it work?"

What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask?  
"How much will it cost?"

What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask? 
"Do you want fries with that?" 

A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night.
He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive  
woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose.  He 
was very self concious about his eye but got up the nerve 
to ask her for a dance. 

"Would you like to dance with me?"he asked.

She replied "Would I!", and he sneered and told her,"BIG NOSE!" 

   An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon. They
   were in bed
   getting ready to have sex for the first time and the old woman said I
   should tell you I have
   acute angina The old man says I hope so, you sure don't have cute
   tits.
   

Did you hear that in New York State, the Stop And Shop grocery chain 
merged with the A & P?
Yup..now they call it the...Stop & P. 

   Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But
   when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his
   wedding, I had ask exactly what he was doing there instead of with his
   new bride.
   
   "Well, you see, this morning when I got up," he said, "I was barely
   awake from a wonderful night of love-making. More out of habit than
   anything else, I put a fifty dollar bill on the dresser."
   
   I told him not to worry about it, that his new wife probably wouldn't
   even think anything of it; that he could always say he left her some
   spending money.
   
   "No no !" he half wailed/half said, "You don't understand. She was
   half asleep too and gave me $30 change."