Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?

A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service
announcement: 
In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear
country. 
The bells warn away MOST bears (brown, black, etc.), but be careful because they don't scare 
Grizzly Bears. 
Tourists are cautioned to watch the ground on the trail, paying particular attention to bear 
droppings to be alert for the presence of Grizzly Bears. 
One can easily spot a Grizzly dropping because it has tiny bells in it. 

What is the difference between boogers and spinach?

                    You can't get your kids to eat spinach.

There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the 
husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year 
old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son's room 
and says "Son do you remember that session I arranged for you with 
mademoiselle Ginette ?" "Oh yes papa, I remember very well" says the son. 
"Well son it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the same 
thing"

If Cray made toasters...
They would cost $16 million but would be faster than
any other single-slice toaster in the world, at least
for a couple of years.