What do you do when an epilectic takes a bath? 

     Throw in your laundry. 

The Frenchman and the Italian were in the woods hunting 
together when suddenly a voluptuous blonde girl raced across 
their path, totally nude. "Would I love to eat that? Oui, oui!" the 
Frenchman said, smacking his lips.

So the Italian shot her.

In a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination
you would like him to try with you.  Find a door with a fairly large crack
between the door and the wall when the door is open.  (You know, over by
the hinges; across the width of the door from the doorknob...)  You need an
egg (NOT hard-boiled), and a wood floor (you don't want the egg cracking on
carpeting, do you??).  Now, have your victim get on the opposite side of
the door from you, and put 2 fingers through the door.  Hand him the egg,
in those two fingers.  Working with him, trade the egg back and forth a
couple of times, moving UP the door frame.  After you have his confidence,
leave.  He will be trapped there, holding this egg by two fingers through
the door.  If he lets go and nobody takes the egg, it will crash to the
floor.  Best to do in the person's own room.

Q: What did O.J. say to Goldman when he found him with his ex-wife?

A: Hey pal, mind if I cut in?

The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters "ILU" 
written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises 
her hand. Well sweetie, what does "ILU" mean? The little girl replies, "I 
love you."
The teacher says, "Isn't that sweet," and continues with class. The next 
day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters "YAS" written 
on it. The teacher asks who left and what does it mean. A little white boy 
raises his hand and says, "It means, You are special." "Thank you 
sweetheart", the teacher says.
The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the 
letters "FUCK" written on it. The enraged teacher asks who left it and if 
they know what that means. A little black girl raises her hand and 
cheerfully says, "Yes maam, I left it. It means, from us colored kids!".