What did the egg say to the boiling water?


"I just got laid and now you want me to get hard?!"

Sent by Sarah

AMNESIA:

Condition that enables a woman who has gone through
labor to have sex again.

One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the water
cooler at the office. "Veronica, I just don't know what to do," Gloria 
said to her friend at work. "That good-looking Alex in accounting asked 
me out on a date for Saturday night. Should I go?"

"Oh, my God!" her friend exclaimed. "He'll wine you, dine you, and then
use any ruse to get you up to his apartment. Then he'll rip off your
dress and you'll have fantastic s*x!"

"What should I do?" asked Gloria.

Her friend quickly replied, "Wear an old dress."

Johnny (age 8) comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all 
afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today. He says that he played 
baseball and then he proposed to Betty (age 7) the next door neighbor. 
They are going to get married. His parents think this is cute, and they 
don't want to make fun of Johnny so they ask Johnny him "How are you and 
Betty going to pay for the expenses of being married?" He replies "Well 
with the $1 I get each week from you and the $1 she gets from her Mom and 
Dad, we should do o.k." His father says "That's fine, but how will you pay 
the extra expenses if you and Betty have a baby?" Johnny answers "Well, so 
far, we've been lucky..."

Mullah Nasrudin, wisest man in Islam, entered England of a visit.
"Do you have anything to declare?" asked the customs inspector.
"No -- sssssst, bzzz - nothing at all."
"How long do you plan to stay?"
"Oh, about -- ssssssssszzzzt, bzzz -- about three weeks."
"By the way, where did you learn English?"
"From the -- bzzz, bzzz, sszzzzzzzzbzzz -- radio."