Q: How do Redneck mothers know when their daughters are having their
period?

A: Their son's dicks taste funny!

I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla. 
"But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded. 
"He did. That's why I have to take every precaution." 

Did you hear the joke about the football game with the 0-0 score?

Never mind it's pointless. 

Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. 
Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they 
asked to purchase a can of gasoline. "I'm sorry, sister," said the 
attendant, "but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamber
pot. The nuns agreed that this would be fine. They returned to the car.
As they were pouring the gasoline into the tank, a man drove by, stopped 
his car, and said, "Oh sister, if only I had your faith."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through one of the many
canyons when suddenly rising from the hill on their right are hundreds of
indians. They start to spur their horse forward when they realised that there
are hundreds of indians ahead of them.  Wheeling to the left they, once
again, see hundreds of indians rising from the hill.  They begin to back away
in the direction from which they had come and they realise, they were
surrounded.  The indians had spread out.  They were trapped.  

The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto, his life long friend, and says "Tonto,
my firend, I think I must say that I have treasured our times together
but now I think we are doomed".

" We?" replied Tonto "What's all this we, Paleface?"