Pad, please!

An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance.
He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as
Best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came
Back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.

Read this in a classified ad: 

     "Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts."

THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER

"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even
if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of
bills."  (Ava, 8)