Overheard on the elevator: 

    "Their marriage was going O.K. until they bought a water bed... then they started
    drifting apart." 

Between my post-USMC and my present mathematician era, I 
was a cop. A judge who later ended up on the 2d District Court 
of Appeals told me once, "The only differences between 
lawyers and protitutes are that prostitutes are generally better 
looking and more honest about how they make a living."

Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
   he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
   some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
   his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
   would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor
   store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on
   videotape.