Jon John, the world's worst basketball player,
was arrested and charged with brawling in a
public place. He pleaded guilty and threw himself
at the mercy of the court.... and missed. 

While my wife and I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young
woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed.
Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked,
"Was it worth the trouble you're in?" 

Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates will donate $100 million to help 
immunize children in developing countries against meningitis 
and respiratory and diarrheal illnesses. With the shot, however, 
the children will have Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.0 installed in 
them.