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Today's stories [4.18.06]

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Paul Carthy, 25, pleaded guilty in Exeter, England, in September
to theft subsequent to his original charge of shoplifting from a
liquor store. In the second theft, he had stolen the magnetic
letters off the name board that was held up to his face when his
mug shot was taken. 

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"I am a Paramedic, recently I was called to 
a scene where a man in his late 60s had died and obviously 
been there a couple of days. We searched for any sign of 
trauma.... None. We looked for anything that might indicate a 
medical problem... heart meds etc..... None. The only medicine 
we found: Viagra. About that time the coroner arrived (a 
strikingly pretty gal) who asked me, "How long has he been 
dead?" I replied a couple of days, she said, "Oh so he is stiff 
then?" I handed her the Viagra bottle and said, "In more ways 
than one..."

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Presenter (to palaeontologist):"So what would happen if you mated
the woolly mammoth with, say,an elephant?"
Expert: "Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a
mule, we'd get a sort of half-mammoth.
Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?"
Expert: "Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks."
(GLR)

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