IDIOTS ON THE ROAD

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe
to cross the street.  I was crossing with an intellectually
challenged coworker of mine(a blonde), when she asked if I knew
what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
She responded, appalled "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?"

Grand National winning jockey Mick Fitzgerald: "Sex is an anti-climax
after that!"
Desmond Lynam: "Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everyone
saw that."
(BBC)

Last weekend I was in the grocery store getting a gallon of milk. As a walk up to the check out
line the lady in front of me turns around and says, " You are such a doll, you look almost 
identical to my daughter." Being polite I said thank you and asked the woman if her daughter 
was in college? I woman replied, "No she died about 2 years ago in car accident." I was in 
complete shock; I didn't no what to say. As the woman was handing the clerk her coupons she 
asked me to do a favor for her. I couldn't say no or it would seem too awkward. She asked me 
if I would wave at her and say "by mom." as she was leaving. Feeling very weird, as the lady 
was leaving I said "by mom!" When the clerk rang up my milk he said that will be $65.39. I am 
thinking WHAT?! The clerk said your mom told me you would take the bill for her also. My first 
reaction was to run after the lady. As I was close behind her, maybe a foot, I tripped and 
pulled her leg just like I am pulling yours!!