Government is the agency of coercion that has flags in front of its offices. 

     - Harry Browne 

"Send lawyers, guns, and money - the shit has hit the fan"              
                                                        - W. Zevon

I spilt spot remover on my dog, now's he gone.

                                      - Steven Wright

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing
neckties? How intelligent is it to start the
day by tying a little noose around your neck?" 

    - Linda Ellerbee 

The art of flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss. --
       Douglas Adams