Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Although they have tried to cover up the fact that mad cow disease
       exists the government has finally given up to public pressure
       demanding they reveal the truth, however they are still insisting
       that this fatal infection is no worse than a broken leg. No worse
       than a broken leg? I once had a broken leg and it hurt like
       fuck!!!!

Get rid of aunts:  Zap does the job in 24 hours.

"Have you been to a zoo? I mean as a visitor?"

ON LAMENTATION
   Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.