He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by
       death.

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.
Then the stronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's
what happens to cheese when you leave it out.

Virginity can be cured. 

Teenaged girls use make-up to feel older sooner.
Their mothers use make-up to feel younger longer.

When I was a kid, my favourite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school 
we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in awhile he would eat one 
of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear. 

-- Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe