There was a young lad from Nahant
                            
                    Who was made like the Sensitive Plant.
                            When asked, "Do you fuck?"
                            He replied, "No such luck.
                            
                    I would if I could but I can't."
                            

A bather whose clothing was strewd
By breezes which left her quite nude
Saw a man come along
And unless I'm quite wrong
You expected this line to be lewd.

               Meet Elmer, young son of the Thorpes, 
               Afflicted with psychotic warps. 
                    His idea of fun 
                    Is to bugger a nun, 
               And then vomit all over the corpse. 

There was a young lady from Asia
Who shaved her legs with a razor
     One day she went high
     Right up past here thigh
And the gash it left would amaze ya!

               Meet Elmer, young son of the Thorpes, 
               Afflicted with psychotic warps. 
                    His idea of fun 
                    Is to bugger a nun, 
               And then vomit all over the corpse.