There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who professed to no sexual feeling
Till a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling

There was a young girl named Anheuser
Who said that no man could surprise her.
But Pabst took a chance,
Found Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser.

                    You've heard of the Duchess of York,
                            
                    She's twice been blessed by the stork.
                            The Duke will fuck
                            Naught else but a duck,
                            
                    While the Duchess she frequents the park.
                            
                                              

There was a young lady named Mabel
Who said, "I don't thing I'm able;
But I'm willing to try.
So where shall I lie -
On the bed, on the floor or the table ?"

                              A chap down in Oklahoma 
                              Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, 
                                        But the sweetness of pitch 
                                        Couldn't put off the hitch 
                              Of impotence, size and aroma.