A habit uncouth and unsav'ry, 
               Kept the Bishop of Essex in slav'ry, 
                    Midst shrieks, hoots, and howls, 
                    He'd bugger large owls, 
               Which he kept in an underground av'ry.

A virgin felt urged in Toulouse 
               Till she thought she would try sef-abuse. 
                    In search of a hard on 
                    She ran out in the garden, 
               And was had by a statue of Zeus. 

A young trapeze artist named Bract,
Is faced by a very sad fact.
Imagine his pain,
When again and again,
He catches his wife in the act. 

               There was a young fellow named Perkin 
               Who was always jerkin' his gherkin. 
                    His wife said, "Now, Perkin, 
                    Stop jerkin' your gherkin: 
               You're shirkin' your ferkin'---you bastard!" 

                    We once had a clerk named Pyle
                            
                    Who had an affair with our file.
                            'Twas strewn askew
                            From K through Q,
                            
                    And the P's were all sticky and vile.