A big bollocksed dancer, Durango, 
            Had trouble while dancing Fandango, 
                The blood from his twirls 
                Overfilled the guys pearls 
            Which swelled to the size of a mango. 

There once was a man named Sweenie,
 who spilled some gin on his weenie.
 So just to be couth,
 he spilled some vermouth.
 And then slipped his girl a Martini.

A Dutchman who dwelt in Dundee
Walked into a grocer's named Lee.
He said "If you blease,
Haff you any prick cheese?"
Said the grocer, "I'll skin back and see."

               There was a young fellow named Gluck 
               Who found himself shit out of luck. 
                    Though he petted and wooed, 
                    When he tried to get screwed 
               He found virgins just don't give a fuck. 

               There was a young monk from Dundee 
               Who hung a nun's cunt on a tree. 
                    He grabbed her fair ass 
                    And performed a high mass 
               That even the Pope came to see.