There was a gay parson of Tooting 
            Whose roe he was frequently shooting, 
                Till he married a lass 
                With a face like my ass, 
            And a cunt you could put a top-boot in. 

I love the way...

I love the way you make me feel inside,
I live the way you make me realize that 
i can't live with  out you.
I hope you feel the same way too.
I love the way you wear your hat,
Why don't we wrestle on the mat?
But remember this one thing if you mess with me,
You will pay dearly.
Anyone who gets in the way of me loving 
you will have to pay.
I love the way you stare at me,
And you probaly love the way iI don't care.
We can take a walk by the lake,
Then later on bake a cake.
I love the way your love for me is not fake,
Because that would be a big mistake. 
I love the way you love me,
And most of all I love the way you love me.

Sent by April

There was an old man of Tantivy 
               Who followed his son to the privy. 
                    He lifted the lid 
                    To see what he did, 
               And found that it smelt of Capivi. 

Part 11 of 12
   
                    The selection was tough, I admit,
                            
                    But it did not dismay him one bit,
                            Then, with ass thrown aloft
                            He suddenly coughed...
                            
                    And collapsed in a shower of shit.
                            

                             Ode to The Bobbits
     
   
There once was a Bobbitt named John
Who thaught he was quite the Don Juan
His wife disagreed
So the next time he wee'd
John couldn't locate his wand.

Lorena wished John could be nicer
But he wasn't much of a de-icer
If she finds a new spouse
Let us hope he's no louse
Or we might have our first serial slicer.

A surgeon was filled with great tension
Trying to sew on a thing we can't mention
He stitched and he sewed
Used all the skills that he knowed
But the wee thing won't stand at attention.

John Bobbitt was never a loner
In fact, he was known as a roamer
His wife seized his prize
And cut him to size
Now he is his own organ donor.

There once was a crime most venal
One might say 'twas inches from renal
It wasn't for sport
That she made him so short
Her intentions were nothing but penal.

The Bobbitt case sure is a dilly
Though it sounds a little bit silly
He said she's the hacker
Who lopped off his whacker
She said she was trying to Free Willy.