There was a young lady named Maude 
            A terrible society fraud: 
                In company, I'm told 
                She was awfully cold. 
            But if you got her alone, Oh My God! 

When the Bermondsey bricklayers struck, 
               Bill Bloggins was 'aving a fuck. 
                    By uni-on rules, 
                    He 'ad to down tools--- 
               Now wasn't that bloddy 'ard luck! 

There was a young fellow whose dong
Was prodigiously massive and long.
On each side of his whang
Two testes did hang
That attracted a curious throng.

A sweet young strip-dancer named Jane
Wore five inches of thin cellophane.
When asked why she wore it,
She said, "I abhor it,
But my cunt juice would spatter like rain."

You've heard the tale of Robin Hood,
And how he did poor people good,
There is more to this Famous story,
Of Sherwood Forest's Pride and Joy
At night when all robbing was done,
The merry men would have some fun,
In fact it would be fair to say,
The Merry men were rather gay.
As Little John starts to unwind,
Robin takes his from behind,
As they frolic in the grass,
Robin rams it up his arse.
One night when they were all at play,
A gorgeous maiden came their way,
She saunter up to Friar Tuck,
And Said "I'm Marion, wanna Fuck?"
Friar couldn't believe his ears,
She is offering sex to all us queers."
While he recovered from his shock,
Robin presented her with his cock.
Marion's clothes were off in a flash,
The 3 merry men all had a bash.
For Marion this was sheer bliss.
As they filled her with ever orifice,
When all was done she gave wine,
"Thank You boys for the lovely time,
"But for your pleasure you must pay,
"I've got the pox, have a nice day."
"Now listen here, "said Friar Tuck.
"We don't really give a fuck,
"The laughs on you, you silly cow,
"We've got AIDS, so who's fucked now."