An old maiden who barely did kissing,
Soon discovered what she had been missing.
When laid down on the sod,
She cried out, "Oh, God!
All these years I just used it for pissing!" 

"Now really, young man, you're a bore,"
Said a Lady Priscilla van Blore.
"I'm covered with sweat
And you haven't come yet
And my God - it is quarter past four!"

According to old Sigmind Freud,
Life is seldom so fully enjoied,
As in human coition
In every position
With the usual organs employed.

               The last time I dined with the King 
               He did quite a curious thing: 
                    He sat on a stool 
                    And took out his tool, 
               And said, "If I play, will you sing?" 

               There was a young man from Hong Kong 
               Who had a trifurcated prong: 
                    A small one for sucking, 
                    A large one for fucking, 
               And a honey for beating a gong.