There was a young lady of Totten
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks,
Or for pastry or cakes,
But lived upon penis *au gratin*.

There was a young lady from Brussels 
            Who was proud of her vaginal muscles. 
                She could easily plex them 
                And so interflex them 
            As to whistle love songs through her bustles.

An agreeable girl named Miss Doves
Likes to jack off the young men she loves.
     She will use her bare fist
     If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves.

                    The Shah of the Empire of Persia
                            
                    Lay for days in a sexual merger.
                            When the nautch asked the Shah,
                            "Won't you ever withdraw?"
                            
                    He replied with a yawn, "It's inertia."
                            

A whore grown too old to get laid 
               Turned parfumeuse, finding it paid 
                    To concoct Fleur de Floozie 
                    From the juice of her coosie 
               (Substantial discount to the trade).