Laboratory Rabbit Freedom
   A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he
   had been born and
   brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he
   felt grass under his
   little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.
   'Wow, this is great,' he
   thought. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing
   under it he saw a
   wonderful sight lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at
   the lush grass.
   'Hey,' he called. 'I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just
   escaped. Are you wild
   rabbits?
   'Yes. Come and join us,' they cried.
   Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted
   so good. 'What else
   do you wild rabbits do?' he asked.
   'Well,' one of them said. 'You see that field there? It's got carrots
   growing in it. We dig
   them up and eat them.'
   This, he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most
   succulent carrots. They
   were wonderful.
   Later, he asked them again, 'What else do you do?'
   'You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat them
   as well.'
   The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later
   completely full. 'Is there
   anything else you guys do?' he asked.
   One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly.
   'There's one other thing
   you must try. You see those rabbits there,' he said, pointing to the
   far corner of the field.
   'They're girls. We poke them. Go and try it.'
   Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning screwing his little
   heart out until, completely
   knackered, he staggered back over to the guys.
   'That was fantastic,' he panted.
   'So are you going to live with us then?' one of them asked.
   'I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't.'
   The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. 'Why? We thought
   you liked it here.'
   'I do,' our friend replied. 'But I must get back to the laboratory.
   I'm dying for a cigarette.'
   

What's a famous saying at a gay bar? 
May I push in your stool.

Sent by Jeff

What are 3 problems about being an egg?

You only get laid once, the only woman to sit on your face
is your mother, and it takes 4 minutes to get hard.

How does every ethnic joke start?

By looking over your shoulder.

   A case for the Third Universal Cardinal Rule of Thumb: Never
   be absolute, unless absolutely necessary:
   A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In
   English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some
   languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a
   negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can
   form a negative."
   A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."