Paddy Murphy had just returned to Ireland from a holiday in Australia.
His mate asked him what it was like.
"Australia's a great place!" Paddy replied. "First they take you home
and fill you so full of piss you can't stand up. Then, to top it off, they
let you fuck their women whenever you want."
"Is that right?" said his mate very impressed. "I always heard Australians
were real pricks."
"Well," said Paddy, "Only the white ones!"

The guy considered himself lucky to have been able to attract
and bed such a luscious looking dish. He was even considering
trying to establish a relationship instead of just a one night
stand. But he couldn't help but wonder why she wasn't already
in one.
"I can't help feeling that we've met before." he said.
"Yeah, I know." sighed the girl stretching. "It happens to me
a lot. I think they call this 'deja screw'. 

    A young Indian boy came back to the reservation for a
   family visit after his first year at college. When his dad asked him
   about his first year at school, he said: I'm having trouble with
   people making fun of me, especially my Indian name. How did you come
   to give your children such odd names"? His father said: "When your
   brother was born, I looked out the teepee and I saw an eagle flying so
   I named him Little Eagle and when your sister was born, I looked out
   the teepee and saw a deer grazing, so I named her spotted fawn. Why do
   you ask, Two Dogs F*cking"?

An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they barely made a
living. Then, one day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000.
The young man rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back
home. He ran across the field, told his father the news, and handed the
older man a $50 bill.
The father looked at the money for a moment and then said, "Son, you know
I've always been careful with what little money we had. I didn't spend it
on whiskey or women. In fact, I couldn't even afford the license to 
legally marry your Ma."
"Pa!" the young man stammered, "do you know what that makes me?"
"Yep," said the old man fingering the $50, "... and a cheap one, too.

How to Hunt Elephants -- Math style
 
Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing
out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of
whatever is left.  Professors of mathematics prove the
existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of
an actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduate
students.

Sent by Alex