At the 1997 World Women's Conference the first speaker from England
   stood up: "At last years' conference we spoke about being more
   assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and
   told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would
   have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the
   second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had
   cooked a wonderful roast lamb."
   
   The crowd cheered.
   
   The second speaker from America stood up: "After last years'
   conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do
   his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first
   day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the
   third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my
   washing as well."
   
   The crowd cheered.
   
   The third speaker from Australia stood up: "After last years'
   conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do
   his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first
   day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the
   third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."
   

What do you get when you cross Viagra and Rogaine?

Don King.

A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of 
his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was 
touring a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. 
One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat of 
cooling water, then dip his hand in it to solidify the latex. The glove 
was then thrown in a finished products box. The dentist's patient was 
disgusted by the lack of care taken in making the gloves sanitary. Wanting 
to keep all the patients he could, the dentist didn't mention how they 
made condoms.

Sorry Texans....

A Texas game warden came upon a coyote caught in a trap.  He returned to
his office and called the Oklahoma game warden and told him one of his
coyotes was caught in a trap.

"How do you know it's one of our coyotes?" asked the Oklahoma game
warden.

"Well," replied the Texas game warden,  "He's already chewed off three
of his legs and he's still trapped!"

Q. Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with newspaper?

A. Yes, if you wrap an iron in it.