Sign on a church bulletin board:
You aren't too bad to come in, You aren't good enough to stay out.

My friend was always teasing me about cybersex and trying
to lead me on.  One day he wrote a really racy letter so I 
decided to "call his bluff".  Forgetting I'd deleted his letter
out of  habit, I accidently responded to my Recipe Du Jour list
instead  and wrote:  "Thanks a lot.  Now I can't get any work
done.  My panties are wet from the anticipation of your next
email."  A gentleman wrote back:   "Sorry, I didn't realize
salsa had such an effect."

This is an actual ad that appears in the June 97
issue of Dog Fancy:

Can Your Dog Read? While there is little scientific evidence,
loving dog owners believe that there are many amazing indications
that some dogs may be able to read or recognize words. Send now
for your Dog Reading Fun Kit with eye chart, flash cards,
instructions and diploma. Hours of entertainment for you and your
loving companion. Order additional Dog Reading Fun Kits for gifts.
Mail your check or money order today! $7.95 plus $2 s/h for each
fun kit to: MDA Products, 5339 Prospect Rd #280 San Jose, CA 95129.