An associate at work a number of years ago related this story which
he swore was true... 
He was dating a Jehovah's Witness, (I don't know what sort of date 
would make, milk and cookies after prayers, or some such thing),
and they were driving along a rural road on a murky day. He muttered
some offhanded obscenity, and his date started scolding him, saying
that He would not want him to swear. Kidding, he swore at her again
when all of a sudden the murky sky turned into a raging cloudburst.
Lighting struck a telephone pole not too far away, and his horrified
date said, "See! I told you He does not want you to swear!" To which
he quipped, "Yeah, but the Son of a Bitch missed, didn't he?". 
They were moving slowly because of the heavy rain, and the girl fairly
leaped out of the car without waiting for it to stop,. and ran off into
the dark never to be seen again.

When Linda was moving out of her place, she'd found a bag of 
marijuana seeds in the dresser drawer.  She tossed 'em out 
into the raised vegetable beds.  "A few months later, a friend 
called me and told me that my ex had been busted by the cops 
for growing pot in the back yard!"

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.