A woman, worried about crime, started to carry a hand-gun. Five months 
after she'd begun carrying her gun she came out to her car in a dark 
parking lot and found it occupied by four men. She ordered them out. They 
refused to move; she pulled her gun. Instantly four doors popped open and 
her car's occupants fled into the night. Then, as she started to load her 
groceries into the car, she noticed her car (same make and model) parked 
three spots away. 

My boyfriend and I were at my daughter's volleyball
game when we noticed a couple in the bleachers.
They were being VERY affectionate.
She was running her hands all over him and nibbling on his ear.
He had his hands on her too. 
I said to my boyfriend,
"I don't know whether to watch them or the game."
He said, "Watch THEM! You already KNOW how to play volleyball."

My father is an ex-Marine who served in the Vietnam War. He tells me many 
stories about pranks and stuff he pulled, and here is one that stood out.
He was on patrol, in the pitch black night, with orders NOT TO FIRE unless 
an enemy was spotted. In the pitch black night. Well he wasn't about to 
wait until the VK was in his face with a combat knife before he started 
shooting, so he looked around for a reason to open fire. And they found 
one.
In the distance, they heard a Vietnamise bird, nicknamed the 'fuck you' 
bird because of its 'unique cry.'
They got on the radio.
"This is 'Bubbles' (his nickname, another story), we have spotted a gook, 
sir, request permission to open fire."
"Roger, open fire."
They then began shooting wherever the bird was heard. Of course, they 
couldn't just stop there...
"This is bubbles, Requesting airstrike..."
Yup. He called in Willie Peter, Napalm, Airstrikes, 'Puff the Magic 
Dragon' (a large plane with a lot of machine guns that could level an area 
the size of a football field in a matter of seconds.) as well as laying 
thier own steel.
In the morning, the bird was still there. But 30 VK's were confirmed dead.
Needless to say, my father was put in for a commendation. But because he 
wasn't a brownnoser, he didnt get it.

Sent by Bradley