I pulled into a town I couldn't believe still
existed in 1999.

A dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that
actually said "General Store", and that was it.

There was a little old man sitting in front of the
store in a rocking chair. I said to him, "What do
you folks do around here?"

He said, "We don't do nothin' but hunt n' fuck."

I said, "What do you hunt?"

He said, "Somethin' to fuck."

Microsoft Corp announced that they would purchase the
source the PenPoint operating system for the value of
one of Bill Gates eye-lashes (est. value $1.3 million).
Gates was quoted as saying "we are only doing what the
consumer has asked us to do: ship huge, bloated,
bug-ridden programs while using every trick in the book
to kill our competitors. As an example of our progress,
consider Windows CE which paints the screen slower on a
75 MHz MIPS RISC processor than the 16 MHz 68000 in the
Palm Pilot, while sucking the batteries dry in a tenth
the time." 

Seen in a Maine restaurant: 

     "Open 7 days a week and weekends."