A few years ago my wife started to wear tight jeans.
   I went out and bought a convertible.
   
   Then she bleached her hair.
   I took a lot of multiple vitamin shots.
   
   Just a few months ago, she had a face lift and a "tummy tuck."
   I got an implant.
   
   And that's the way its been for the two of us:
   side by side -- growing young together.

A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in
          St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene,
          fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to
          complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

[News of the Weird, 18 May 93, San Jose Mercury News]
A 24-year-old salesman from Hialeah, Fla., was killed near Lantana, Fla.,
in March when his car smashed into a pole in the median strip of
Interstate 95 in the middle of the afternoon.  Police said that the man
was traveling at 80 MPH and, judging by the sales manual that was found
open and clutched to his chest, had been busy reading.