When we were looking to buy property I had this over zealous 
realtor show us what can only be described as a totally worn-
out old farm. I mean the land had just been worked to death. 
The weeds were hardly even growing. 

The smiling super salesman said, "Now really, all this land 
needs is a little water, a nice cool breeze and some good 
people." 

I replied, "Yeah, I agree, but couldn't the same be said of Hell?"

IDIOTS AT WORK

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the
clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the
credit card.  She informed me that she could not complete the
transaction unless the card was signed.  When I asked why, she
explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the
credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.
So I signed the credit card in front of her.  She carefully
compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched.

Mouth Cells



I'm a bio major at IUP (Indiana University of Pennsylvania)
and was taking a cell biology course my freshman year.  The
task of the day was examining epitheleal cheek cells under a
microscope. We had to scrape the inside of our mouth with a
toothpick and make a slide from it and i.d. the different types
of cells that were found. One girl in the class (a rather well
built sorority gal, which is why I sat next to her) was having
some trouble identifing some cells. She called the prof. over
to ask him. After a moment or two of peering in her scope, he
looked up, and said in a loud voice, "Those are sperm cells."
 
The girl turned bright red and ran out of the room. Needless
to say, she dropped the class. (Although I spent two weeks
looking for her, I never did see her again.) Such is life :)
 
                                            - Author Unknown