"Americans have different ways of saying things.
They say "elevator", we say "lift" ...
they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git." 

Alexai Sayle.

Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict,
   Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease".
   Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your
   principles or your mistress."

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money,
as well as afterward.

"Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place." 

     - Billy Crystal. 

"Hi, my name's Holocaine and I'm a goth... I've been a goth for about a year
 now... some day I think today's the day, I'm going to wear bright colours
 and listen to Kylie Minogue but I just end up wearing black again. It's
 all just too hard."
                        -- me, on oz#gothic