Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you
       think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? (1)
       Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. (2) Advising the President.
       (3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. -- David
       Letterman

"Technology is a way of organizing the universe so
that man doesn't have to experience it." 

     - Max Frisch 

"Conspiracies abound:  If everyone's against you, the reason can't _possibly_
 be that you're a fuckhead."
                        -- The Usenet Guide to Power Posting

Don't worry, Homer.  Nine out of ten religions fail in their first year. 
   -- God, ``Homer the Heretic'' 

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes ? I don't
think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just
to muffle the screams.

Rita Rudner