"*slap*"
"When she does that you're meant to say 'harder'..."
"Harder... but only if she ties me up..."
                        -- Debra Langeluddecke, me, Richard White

When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter. 

- Stephen Wright

A hospital is a place where men keep asking the nurses
for dates and the nurses keep giving them prunes. 

You will always find some Eskimo ready instruct the Congolese
on how to cope with heat waves.

        --Ibid

The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation

                                                    --Mark Twain