Under the spreading chestnut tree 
               The village smith he sat, 
                    Amusing himself 
                    By abusing himself 
               And catching the load in his hat. 

There was a young lady whose joys 
               Were achieved with incomparable poise. 
                    She could have an orgasm 
                    With never a spasm--- 
               She could fart without making a noise. 

There was a young student of Yale 
                                        Who was getting his first piece of tail. 
                                                      He shoved in his pole, 
                                                      But in the wrong hole, 
                                        And a voice from beneath yelled: "No sale!" 

In the Garden of Eden lies Adam,
peacefully stroking his madam.
He does so with mirth,
for on all of this Earth,
there were only two tits
and he had 'em! 

                    There once was a man from Dundee
                            
                    Who was fucking an ape in a tree.
                            The results were most horrid:
                            All ass and no forehead,
                            
                    Three balls and a purple goatee!