An efficient young fellow named Dave
Said, "Think of the time that I save
By avoiding vacations,
And sexy relations,
And taking a crap while I shave." 

               Each man that Miss Jones chose to wed with, 
               She first liked to paint the town red with, 
                    For having made merry, 
                    She then became very 
               Aroused and fantastic in bed with. 

An ode to the hole
That never heals.
The more you touch it
The better it feels.
You can rub it
And scrub it
And brush it like hell,
But you will never get rid
Of that fucking fish smell.

(Author Unknown)

There was a Young Lady of Bute, 
Who played on a silver-gilf flute;
She played several jigs
To her uncle's white pigs,
That amusing Young Lady of Bute.

                    On the breasts of a barmaid named Gail
                            
                    Was tattoo'd the price of her ale.
                            And for the sake of the blind
                            Upon her behind
                            
                    Was the same information in Braille.