There was a young man of St. Paul's 
            Possessed the most useless of balls. 
                Till at last, at The Strand, 
                He managed a stand, 
            And tossed himself off in the stalls. 

There was a young man from Bengal
Who got in a hole in a wall.
"Oh," he said, "It's a pity
This hole is so gritty,
But it's better than nothing at all."

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There was an old gent from Kentuck 
            Who boasted a filigreed schmuck, 
                But he put it away 
                For fear that one day 
            He might put it in and get stuck. 

There was a young fellow from Lees 
            Who handled his tool with great ease. 
                This continual friction 
                Made his sex a mere fiction, 
            But the callus hangs down to his knees.