A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in- 
law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke 
to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted 
on them both trying to find her mother.

The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and 
started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they 
came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up 
against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood 
facing her.

The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"

"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into 
this mess, let him get himself out of it."

The huge black dude was getting ready for the electric chair -
he had been found guilty of rape and murder.  The witnesses to
the execution were astonished when the prisoner's pant leg was
cut and a tiny electrode was prepared to be placed on his penis.
"Hey don't look so surprised" the condemned man said.
"Yours would shrink and shrivel up too it you were about to be zapped!"

Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with
   Monica Lewinsky?
   Pres: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of
   the the sweetest interns I've ever had.

Why don't witches wear panties?

So they can get a better grip on the broom.

Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen?

That's the proper place to wash vegetables.