A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for
something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting
under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing
away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the
man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of
the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp. 

Little Lucy was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders
mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" 
"They're mating, Lucy" he replied.
"What do you call the spider on top Daddy?" Lucy asked.
"Oh, that's a Daddy Longlegs.
Lucy asked, "Oh, so one's a Daddy Longlegs and the other one is a
Mommy Longlegs?"
Daddy replied, "No, both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
Lucy thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat.
Well, we're not having THAT sort of thing in our garden!!"

*ring* *ring*
"Hello?" Hearing only heavy breathing on the line, the woman repeated, "Hello?"

"I'll bet you want me to come into your bedroom," a male voice whispered
huskily, "...undress you, lick you from head to toe and make love to you until
morning."

"Geez," the woman replied, "you can tell all that from two hello's?"

One gay man says to the other, did you hear Newt Gingrich is coming out?
"Really?" the second gay man says, "that's amazing!"
The first gay man says, "yeah we're lucky, he's only coming
out of Congress, would you wanna sleep with him?"

Sent by Patrick

What do you call an open can of tuna fish in a lesbian's apartment? 

     Potpourri