a quadruple amputee is waiting at the bus stop.The bus pulls up.Driver says
"alright John, how you getting on today?"

Dirty Johnny's father walks into the bathroom and catches him jerking
   off.
   
   He says, "Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby."
   
   The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again.
   
   Johnny says, "Bow your head, Pop. Can't you see we're having a
   funeral?"
   

Nancy Reagan is the celebrity contestant on Password. 
It's her turn to guess the word. 
Voice Over: And the password is. . . black dick! 
Nancy: Um. . . is it a place? 
Her partner: No. 
Nancy: Is it a person? 
Her partner: No. 
Nancy: Hmm, then it must be a thing. Um, is it something I
might want to eat? 
Her partner, exasperated: Well, I dunno, maybe. 
Nancy: Is it black dick?

The little darlings were all in their seats on the first day of school and 
their new teacher introduced herself. She wrote on the board that her name 
is Ms. Prussy and the day passed without any further incidents. 

The next morning after greeting the class she asked if anyone remembered 
her name and little johnny waved frantically. The teacher taken by his 
enthusiasm called on him. In a timid voice he said "Miss Crunt?"

One day Mongo is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing
him there, decides to investigate.
"Whatcha doin?" he asked. Mongo replies, "My goldfish died and I'm burying 
him."
"That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor. 
Mongo shot back, "That's because he's inside your fuckin' cat!'