Doc and his wife were splitting up the debts and assets. The
main asset, of course, was the house.  My ex's truly serious
suggestion:  "Since the house payment is a little more than
the credit card payments, I'll do you a favor and take the
house and the house payment and you can take the credit card
debt."

An American tourist in South America had the misfortune to be attacked
by killer bees as he stood on the bank of the Amazon. Seeking refuge,
he leapt into the river - and was devoured by piranha fish.

In Kentucky, a woman complained of a purple discharge from her 
vagina. She thought it might have something to do with the diaphragm 
that her doctor had recently given her. 
"I followed all the instructions to the letter," she told her doctor, 
"and used it with the jelly." 
When asked which kind of jelly she had used, she replied "Grape."