State Trooper on the NYS Thruway (I90) gave me a ticket 
the other day.  Speeding?  No.
     I was driving in the Granny lane (slow) and the Trooper 
pulled up beside me.  I hit a pheasent that stepped into the 
road from the shoulder.  Flew across the lane, hit the 
Trooper's windshield and broke it.
     The Trooper gave me the ticket for flipping him the bird.

More about rednecks...

In Fort Lauderdale, Florida, a sixteen-year-old youth
was charged with beating up his fifteen-year-old wife
after the latter hid the caps to his toy pistol.

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. 
It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the 
bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.