The Stanford Law Review runs the following quote on their masthead:
"For every thousand people hacking at the leaves of evil there is
one chopping at the roots."

-H.D. Thoreau

On their April Fools issue they ran the following:
"For every person hacking at the leaves of evil there
are a thousand smoking the stuff. 

Vermont native, Ronald Demuth, found himself in a difficult position
yesterday.  While touring the Eagle's Rock African Safari (Zoo)  with a
group of thespians from St.  Petersburg, Russia, Demuth went overboard to
show them one of America's many marvels.  He demonstrated the 
effectiveness of "Crazy Glue"  ...  the hard way.

Apparently, Demuth wanted to demonstrate just how good the adhesive was, 
so he put about 3 ounces of the adhesive in the palms of his hands, and
jokingly placed them on the buttocks of a passing rhino.

The rhino, a resident of the zoo for the past thirteen years, was not
initially startled as it has been part of the petting exhibit since its
arrival as a baby.  However, once it became aware of its being 
involuntarily stuck to Demuth, it began to panic and ran around the 
petting area wildly making Demuth an unintended passenger.

"Sally (the rhino)  hasn't been feeling well lately.  She had been very
constipated.  We had just given her a laxative and some depressants to 
relax her bowels, when Demuth played his juvenile prank,"  said James 
Douglass, caretaker.

During Sally's tirade two fences were destroyed, a shed wall was gored, 
and a number of small animals escaped.  Also, during the stampede, three 
pygmy goats and one duck were stomped to death.  As for Demuth, it took a 
team of medics and zoo caretakers over four hours to remove his hands from 
the rhino's buttocks.

First, the animal had to be captured and calmed down.  However, during 
this process the laxatives began to take hold and Demuth was repeatedly 
showered with over 30 gallons of rhino diarrhea.

"It was tricky.  We had to calm her down, while at the same time shield 
our faces from being pelted with rhino dung.  I guess you could say that 
Demuth was into it up to his neck.

Once she was under control, we had three people with shovels working to 
keep an air passage open for Mr.  Demuth.  We were able to tranquilize her 
and apply a solvent to remove his hands from her rear,"  said Douglass.  
"I don't think he'll be playing with Crazy Glue for a while."

Meanwhile, the Russians, while obviously amused, also were impressed with
the power of the adhesive.  "I'm going to buy some for my children, but of
course they can't take it to the zoo,"  commented Vladimir Zolnikov, 
leader of the troupe.

Harlan says there's a Judi who works at his place:  Our 
receptionist, (yes, she is a blonde), often takes orders to call 
out for pizza on nights we work late. One night, after placing an 
order for two pizza's from around the corner, we asked her how 
long it would be. She said she was told 40 minutes. When we 
commented to her that we thought that was a long time, she 
responded "that seems about right, it takes 20 minutes to cook 
a pizza and we ordered 2 of them".