On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, 
well-off white South African lady has found herself sitting next 
to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to 
complain about her seating.

"What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the 
attendant.

"Can't you see?" she said, "You've sat me next to a kafir. I 
can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me 
another seat!"

"Please calm down, Madam." the stewardess replied. "The 
flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll 
go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or 
first class".

The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man 
beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding 
passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with 
the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help 
but look at the people around her with a smug and 
self-satisfied grin.

"Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've 
spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. 
However, we do have one seat in first class".

Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess 
continues: "It is most extraordinary to make this kind of 
upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission 
from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt 
that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit 
next such an obnoxious person."

With that, she turned to the black man and said: "So if you'd 
like to get your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you..."

At which point, the surrounding passengers stood and gave a 
standing ovation while the man walked to the front of the 
plane . . .

The world's first fully computerised airliner was ready for its maiden 
flight with out pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area 
automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out 
automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats. 
The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane 
taxied toward the runway. 
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman," a voice intoned as the airplane 
lifted off. "Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully computerised 
airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back 
and relax. Nothing can go wrong........nothing can go wrong......nothing 
can go wrong......"

The editors at "Playboy" have selected Marilyn Monroe for first 
place in its "The 100 Sexiest Women of the Century" feature. 
For organizational purposes, the list is divided into "Chicks 
Who Slept WIth A Kennedy" and "Chicks Who Didn't Sleep 
With A Kennedy."