"What do most people do on a date?"
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies,  and that usually gets
 them interested enough to go for a second date."
                        -- Response by Mike, Age 10

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
 another country."
                        -- Elayne Boosler

"Our strategic alliance is working well. Our company provides amazing
 technical skill and your company has a seemingly endless supply of
 three-ring binders."
"Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated."
"Is it true that if your name is written in a binder you lose your soul?"
                        -- Some Guy, Dilbert, Some Other Guy

A mother may hope that her daughter will get
a better husband than she did
but she knows her son will never get
as good a wife as his father did.

"Which painting in the National Gallery would I save
if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course."

                                            -- George Bernard Shaw