Jesus is coming. Look busy! 

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent
   revolution inevitable.
   -- John F. Kennedy

   Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine were these
   words:
   "Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."


  

In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers
are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have
to explain what a writer is.

                                      - - - Geoffrey Cottrell

There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were
       as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I
       no longer know how to use my telephone. -- Stroustrup