Never consult a woman about her rival, a coward about a war,
or a merchant about a bargain.
        --Manny Schlott

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian !

- Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the
other trees make fun of it?

"The top ten reasons why masturbation is better than sex:

10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1."
                        -- unknown